Half way!

20 weeks! 4 1/2 months left. When I say it that way it seems so short, but when I think about the first 20 weeks and that I have that long to go, it seems like forever. I am FINALLY getting energy. I think nesting is starting to kick in because I have been cleaning the past two days and I want it all to be perfect. For 4 1/2 months I have been so drained and am hopefully the 2nd half of this pregnant is more joyful. So far it has been. Baby has been kicking everyday and is wide awake right now at 1:30. I love feeling the kicks and I am excited for brent to feel them but they're not strong enough yet. We have put ultrasound scheduled for October 7th to find out the gender and our reveal party is the 11th. As of right now both brent and I will be finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl at the party. I will be super shocked if it's a boy. I'm just so sure it's a girl. It will be exciting to know if the baby is a boy or girl though and then we can start getting the nursery all set up and pick out colors and a theme. It sure seems that the 2nd half of pregnancy has a lot more perks! 

19 weeks

I'm actually 19 1/2 weeks, but we took the picture at 19 weeks. This week I have started getting horrible back pain. It's my lower back/butt and it started really hurting yesterday. Nothing I could do was giving me relief. It's only on my left side but oddly enough when I would stand on my right leg is when I felt extreme pain. Iv just been lazy all day today so far and my back is feeling better, but I am going insane just sitting here. I'm too afraid I'll do something like bend the wrong way or twist or something and then I'll have this pain for a long time. Brent worked from home today and he got me lunch and took care of the animals. Hopefully we can go for a walk in a little bit and see if that helps or not. Hopefully it goes away soon. 

18 weeks and lots of changes

I feel like I have "popped" this week. I was at michaels and the cashier first asked if I was a model, such a lovely compliment! And then she asked if I was expecting. She must have been buttering me up with the compliment incase I was just fat. But I am glad that it is more noticeable that I am indeed pregnant. What a good week to become noticeably pregnant, 18 weeks and 18 is my favorite number. We already know I love when things like that happen. Perfect timing with dates. The other change I've noticed about my body, my belly button is changing. I have always had a very deep innie, never could see or feel the bottom of my belly button, now you can do both. So interesting. Those are the body changes this week. Another major change we did tonight, we moved Kirby, our bunny, to a different room. This may not seem like a big deal but Kirby has been in our room for 2 1/2 years and I wasn't ready to move him to another room until now. I am hoping I will get more sleep without him being in here and that Nala our baby kitten won't be so hyper in our room. I wanted Kirby in a different room once the baby gets here and now just finally seemed right. I am sad that I won't here his little noises at night if he doesn't sleep in here anymore, but I won't miss him throwing his food dish all around and the sounds of his thumps in his cage. Tonight is the first night with him in the other room, hopefully he comes to visit us during the night. As you can imagine I've been struggling with if were going to have our baby start off in our room or not. I am afraid I will be too afraid to change it and it will 2 1/2 years until our child doesn't sleep in our room. Thank goodness for pets, good practice haha. 

Kirby's new room! 

Belly pictures

Finally updating!

It's been awhile since iv updated my blog. Iv been so at peace just trying to live in the moment of the pregnancy. I shocked myself that I haven't even put it on Facebook, I thought I would want to ASAP and I thought I would want to blog everyday through out the pregnancy. But here I am finally updating 5 weeks later. I am currently 17 1/2 weeks pregnant, almost halfway there! Things have been going good. I started getting headaches but that's the only thing really, oh and I am constipated again and it makes me so uncomfortable! I get nervous thinking about being 8-9 months pregnant if I already feel really uncomfortable now. My energy really hasn't come back still either. All this crap about people saying the 2nd trimester is the best is a lie. Everyday I could cry for no reason for some as simple as a leaf fell off a tree. I feel so confused all the time and don't even know what I'm thinking. I feel like a draw a blank every time I try to think. And lately I have become so rude, and I don't even care. I used to always let Brent dish up his food first and I would save some for him after I dish up, but now it's like get out of my way and you better hope I don't eat it all. If it's something I'm craving he can have a nibble and that is it. My patience is at an all time low and the filter in my head has stopped working so I say whatever I am thinking. On a better note though, two nights ago I may have felt the first kicks! I felt them again last night too. It wasn't the flutters everyone is talking about, it's kicks. Like being poked from the inside. Brent wasn't home the first night and was asleep last night, but they are pretty strong and I do think he would be able to feel them. It's just so easy to pass it off as gas because I am gassy and constipated, but iv never felt this feeling before. It's exciting! On October 7th we have an ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, I'm still thinking girl. And we will have a gender reveal party on the 11th. Right now I want to wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy and find out AT the party. But I could change my mind once were at the appointment. I'm just nervous for my reaction, and what other people will think. Especially if it's a boy and I wanted a girl. But on the same note, if I am upset it's a boy I will have family around to make it a happy moment. Time will tell. But I am having a great time planning the party and making the most amazing invites. I think I might even post it on Facebook after the gender party. But iv said that before haha. I'll have to upload the belly pictures that you've all been missing out on later, my phone isn't uploading the pictures. 

This baby must be a girl

I went to fargo last week and found the most adorable pair of ankle boots but because I'm so indecisive lately I didn't buy them. All I've been doing is obsessing over those shoes which is so unlike me, I just had to have those shoes. I tried so hard to find them online and couldn't. Even with this spotting I am glad I can get a giggle and find some humor, I was talking with my friend kris and saying that the baby is obviously a girl and were both stressing about not buying those shoes which is why I am bleeding. Obviously not the case, but it's cute and a better theory than anything bad. Well my mom and sister are in fargo and I begged and begged her to go back to the store to get those shoes for me and I'll pay her back. She did! Now I just have to wait until next Friday to get them in person. We'll see if the bleeding stops now haha. And then this baby is clearly a girl and obsessed with shoes. A little humor and jokes make me feel better. 

12 weeks and more spotting

It is amazing how much my bump had grown. We had our screening yesterday for down syndrom, they said everything looks good and we'll know the results soon. We got to see the baby and he/she was jumping all over and kicking and punching. It was so awesome to see. We heard the heartbeat again at 153 beats per minute. The tech also said the placenta is behind the baby and I read online that will make you show sooner and bigger, makes sense. 

The baby had his/her arms up and was waving at us, so cute. But had the legs crossed so we weren't even able to get a guess if it's a boy or a girl. Hopefully were able to see at 20 weeks!

Yesterday evening I went to the bathroom and there was more spotting, this is the 3rd time this pregnancy. It's very light, but any amount of bleeding is so terrifying. The nurse said to keep monitoring it, and it's getting lighter since I was sleeping. The plan now is to just take it easy and rest a lot. My mom thinks it's when my period would be due, it happened at 4 weeks, 6 weeks, and now 12 weeks, so there really isn't a pattern. We'll see if I spot again down the road or not. I just wish I knew why this was happening. I feel like I am doing something to cause this but I have been so cautious. This just takes a lot out of me emotionally and mentally. I am exhausted so watching tv all day sounds nice. I feel like that's all I can do is lay down all day. If it helps or not at least I know I'm trying to make this stop. I am always terrified when I go to the bathroom I will see blood, and eventually I convince myself I'm being paranoid and then there it is. Were just praying everything is ok, it seems so crazy that we just saw the baby and it was perfect and then later I started bleeding. And it was an ultrasound on my stomach so nothing was inserted. Just hold tight baby and keeping moving around and having fun in there! I love you so much and am trying to protect you.